affirmations (reality based) - live

life is about experience,
the beauty in sadness, joy, and every complex emotion 
we are blessed with
which we would not be capable of feeling 
if our bodies and minds were not built to endure 

pain is inevitable
and I am proud to have possessed something so beautiful 
that I can then experience its loss so potently 
I can write words that ride the breath of strangers 
or look at sunsets or the stars, something so 
colorful and vast beyond our comprehension, 
and think of those 
I've lost along the way.

I recognize that I have grown into a 
lover that cannot be maintained 
if you are afraid of sin, shame, or evolution 
I am not a body of water one simply wades into 
without drowning if they never bother to swim.
I do not excuse, but I do forgive 
and do not always suffer 
at the realization that I'm alone again 
because this is not about them 
I do not exist to simply love and feel loved

I’d rather feel everything 
I play sad music and take long scenic drives 
I visit art museums and hunt down indie movies in small business theaters 
I feel my tears dry as my cat lays asleep on my chest, his purrs healing my heart 
I read the names of old headstones and imagine their stories 
I write more poems with repetitive phrases and run on sentences 
where maybe someone will share in my loneliness 
because even the moments I spend 
feeling lost on my bathroom floor have their value 
and I ride the waves of heartbreak 
with the same embrace with which I accept joy 

my entire life will consist of love and loss
I am prepared, I am capable, 
and I open my arms to it all